Show with your entire body language that you welcome feedback
Since giving feedback is challenging for most people, it’s very important that you actively encourage the person who is giving you feedback. You can encourage someone by just thinking about your body language, facial expression and tone of voice. If someone asks if they can give you feedback and you take a step back, frown and say “yes” in a questioning, dragging tone of voice, whether you mean to or not, you are sending a very defensive signal which does not welcome feedback. Instead, if someone asks you if they can give you feedback, smile, lean towards the person as if you are really eager to hear what they have to say and say “yes” in a positive and energetic tone of voice. This might sound very simple and silly, but I can tell you, it really makes the entire process of giving and receiving feedback so much more pleasant.Feedback shouldn’t be confused with praise or criticism
The sole purpose of feedback is to impact future behavior; whether it is a good behavior that should be continued, or a negative behavior that needs adjusting. If given correctly, feedback is factual and non-judgmental. Unfortunately, proper feedback isn’t very common in workplaces. What you do hear more of is praise or criticism.Praise
Giving praise is indeed very positive. Both the giver and the receiver feel good and it increases the energy and improves the atmosphere among people around who hear it.
Examples of praise:
- Good job leading that meeting!
- Great report, I really enjoyed reading it!
- Well done, that was a very good presentation!
Criticism
Unlike praise, there is no positive outcome of criticism. No one likes to receive criticism. Criticism is judgmental and it really drains the energy out of the receiver and anyone else who hears the criticism.
Examples of criticism:
- That was lousy – you can’t lead a meeting!
- What an awful report, it was a torture getting through!
- That was a really boring presentation!
Always be thankful for input – in whichever form you get it
No matter if someone is giving you feedback, praise or criticism you should express your gratitude by saying “Thank you”. Remember that feedback is something given to you in order for you to develop, someone else is showing that they care about you. If you are given praise, saying thank you comes quite natural. Even if you would like to dig a bit deeper, don’t use the praise as a means to seek feedback. The person might not be ready to give you constructive feedback and in that case he or she might just feel awkward that they gave you the praise in the first place. If you continue to ask for feedback when given praise, people might refrain from giving you praise in the future, which is not the result you are looking for!Even when you are given criticism you should be grateful and smile and say thank you – even though what you really want is to punch the person in the face! Unlike with praise, if someone gives you criticism you should turn it into an opportunity to seek feedback.
Turn criticism into constructive feedback
The key to any type of feedback is to understand the underlying behavior. If someone gives you criticism, after you have thanked the person (genuinely, without being sarcastic) you should ask the person to clarify the behavior.Examples:
- Can you help me understand what I could have done differently?
- What specifically was it that you didn’t like in the report?
- What can I do next time to improve my presentation?
Example:
- Ok, so please let me know if I understand this correctly: When I don’t stick to an agenda everyone gets frustrated and we won’t achieve the objective of our meeting. So next time I’ll make sure to prepare and agenda and stick to it!
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